Starting over.

OK, So first i would like to pre apologize for poor spelling and bad grammar, and now I will introduce myself. My name is Maya Henry, This blog is the first installment of what I hope to be a successful weight loss journey. I'm 20 years old 5'7" and i weigh approx. 230 lbs (i think) I wear size 18 jeans. 2 years ago weighed 165lbs and fit into size 8/10 jeans. I was discharged from the US Army last year on Feb. 18 due to being overweight. I have some back issues stemming from my time in the Army, and sense being discharged I have gained roughly 40 lbs. Last week, I woke up and went into the bathroom and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. It was the most disgusting thing I have ever seen. I have no idea how i got to where I'm at now, but when i saw myself I started crying. I was crying so hard that i couldn't stand anymore. I sat on the floor of the bathroom for about 30 min and completely broke down. I have never been disgusted with myself before and let me tell you, it is not something I want to feel ever again. I have always been "bigger" but never large enough to be called "fat" in fact, all the way through school, k-12, I think that I was called fat once. Even now, when I have my clothes on people don't think I weigh above 190 max. However, when I take my clothes off its another story, I have stretch marks everywhere two of my tattoos are getting ruined, my tummy bounces more than my tatas when I walk and mine are the definition of "Thunder Thighs" That morning last week was a turning point for me. I cant be the fatty cake anymore. Its taking a toll on my entire life! I cant even make love to my hubby without wanting the lights off, I feel like I cant possibly be sexy the way I am now! (he says he thinks I'm sexy no matter what, but I'm scared that I'm close to reaching the point where he changes his mind) So anyway, I'm starting this blog because I'm the type of person that needs to be held accountable or I will let myself slip. My hubby is helping me, but he also spoils me, so I know if I REALLY want those jalapeno poppers, he will get them for me. I'm hoping that by starting this blog you will all help me stay on track. I'm on day 5 of my weight loss journey today. I'm eating healthy staying under 1300 cal. a day, and I'm doing Jillian Michaels 30 day shred (awesome workout btw). I don't have a scale, or a measuring tape. I am guessing my weight based on what it was last time I went to a gym (2 months ago). I'm the type of person that feels like a failure and gives up if I don't see results FAST so, when I started, I felt that if I eliminate numbers, it would be easier for me to stay on track, but so far I'm not having any trouble with cravings and plan on getting both a scale and tape, so hopefully tomorrow (or later today if your lucky) I will have some "real" numbers to post!!!! maybe even a pic or 2.