less "weight loss" more Maya.

Ok, so far I haven't really said much about myself. My posts have been mostly about my weight and such, so this post is going to be a bit more personal, and may contain adult content. If you are easily offended please proceed with caution (or don't proceed at all, my feelings won't be hurt) :P...

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Ok, that's more than enough time to navigate away from this page after my warning, but before I start I just wanted to let you all know that I fucking love my blackberry (yes, I love it so much it needs my favorite word to describe the amount), it is enabling me to write this post while relaxing in a hot bath! HURRAY for technology!

Any way, I have always been that happy go lucky girl that gets along with everybody. In high school I had friends in every group from band geek and emo kids to jocks and stoners. I have always prided myself on the fact that I can and will always have a shoulder or ear to lend you.

Up until I joined the army in 2007 I thought that my friends were the ones that you will have with you for the rest of your life, but when I left for basic and they all went off to college we drifted apart. Far apart. I haven't seen or spoken to my "bff" sense March of last year before that it was when I went to basic. It sucked, but I made a ton of new army friends and we created a bond in the 6 months of training that we spent together that I thought was even stronger than what I had back home with the "friends" that I have had sense kindergarten. I was wrong. Again. When I got out of the army all of those friends disappeared because I didn't have the same number of deployments as them. So here I am, 20 years old and sadly I honestly only have one person that I truly call my friend. I'm not trying to sound like I'm begging for a "pity party" or anything, because he is my rock and my world and I would literally trade my soul to keep him in my life, but marriage is hard, and when your only friend is your spouse its near impossible to not hold things back, and that leads to bottled up emotions, in turn leading to more fights. Sometimes you just need a girls night to vent about dumb boys, it always feels so much better going home into his arms afterwards...I guess what that long drawn out bit was leading to is that I'm lonely, and when I'm bored and lonely I eat. The worst part is that I don't even know how to make friends. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I have never needed to know how. Friends have always come to me. Ok, new less depressing topic...ready...


GO!

Drugs...are gross. Anything "hard" (I.e. heroin, meth, coke etc.) scares me. I'm terrified of the fact that they are so easily addicting and have never in my life tried any hard drugs, nor will I ever, but what really really bothers me is weed. I HATE the stuff. Just the smell of it makes me puke.(Literally, I'm not just being a drama queen) If you like smoking that's cool, I'm fine with what you choose to do in your free, personal time. I won't hold it against you until you smoke around me in a confined area or you come into my place of business smelling like you were just hot boxing, or whatever its called, in the parking lot. I takes a lot of my will power to not tell people to fuck off when they come near me stinking like crazy asking me to let them in a fitting room to try clothes on. I don't want your nasty smelly ass near my products, let alone in them! One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone stinks (smoke/drug/or poor hygiene) and then crowds my space.

That really had nothing to do with my blog or getting to know me, but it does have to do with me venting about work today. Lol, sorry.

Anyway on a happier note the hubby and I were invited to go to a party at a co workers house tonight, I'm excited, but my company has a very strict fraternization policy that states that we are not supposed to socialize with any of our co workers outside of work same sex or otherwise, (one of the reasons I don't currently have any girl friends)...but I'm feeling rebellious today, so I think I will go, and if I don't get in trouble...maybe there will be some girls nights in my near future! Yay! Wait, what's that you say ? There must be a downside to this seemingly awesome development in my social life? Well you are right. There are going to be margaritas galore as well as mexican food (my 2 biggest edible weaknesses tequila and spicy food) and 7 layer dips and corn chips (I could continue but my mouth is watering already). I want to go but my cheat day was yesterday and idk if I have the will power to be good if I go.I know myself and I know that putting myself in a place like that would be like putting a pill popper in the drug vault at a pharmacy...I'm really having decision issues right now. I will let you know what I decide later. Sorry the post was so long and random.

Night! Xoxo

***Maya